And I Thought Starbucks Was Too Expensive...

This week, my wife and I went out to celebrate the 15 year (!!) anniversary of our first date. The fact that a woman as smart and beautiful as T would go out with me a single time, much less hang around for 15 years is mind boggling to me. But I came across something else on our date that boggled my mind even more.

We had just finished up dinner at one of our favorite spots (much love to Tomato Head) and decided to grab some coffee at a new shop on the square. So we make our order, and as the guy is whipping up our latte mocha whatever, T points out a small bag of coffee beans for sale at the front cash register. Now this bag of coffee beans looks like any other to my untrained eye. The label however informs me that this is a "Special Indonesian Blend." The beans are in small hermetically sealed plastic bag that's about a foot long and a foot wide. There MIGHT BE 100 coffee beans in this bag, y'all.

So how much, dear blog reader, would you pay for this bag of hermetically-sealed Indonesian coffee beans? $8.99? $16.24? Hey, they're from Indonesia, so how bout $21.94? (plus tax)

The correct answer would be: $199!!!!!! (plus tax)

I said to my wife, "I think they put the decimal in the wrong place." I asked the Bistro if this was a joke. Part of me thought he was going to rip off his wig and reveal himself to be Howie Mandell.

It was not a joke. I was informed that pound of this special Indonesian Java runs for a cool $499.00

Forget about stimulus packages people! We just need to sell a few pounds of this stuff and the US Economy will be partying like it's 1999.

But here's the best part: In the write up about what makes this coffee so unique, it talked about the fact the the beans grow wild in these Indonesian rice patty fields. Then animals come by and eat the beans. And then poop them out. And then Indonesian farmers come by and pick the beans. Out of the poop. And somebody puts them in a small hermetically sealed plastic bag and sells them for $499 a pound at a coffee shop in Knoxville.

I am not making any of this up. I WISH I could make up stuff this good.

Fill that to the brim.