Never Embarassed

Yesterday, I was working a booth at our Church's Hunger Helper market, when a friend of mine came up to me, looking panicked. She said a "street person" was hassling elderly members of our congregation in the parking lot, and she wasn't sure what to do. I wasn't quite sure what to do either. Our church is located downtown and operates a weekly soup kitchen, so it attracts its fair share of homeless and marginalized people looking for assistance. Rightfully so. This is Jesus' house afterall.

I went to the parking lot to check it out. Sure enough, there was a guy that looked like he had been living on the streets for some time talking to anyone who'd listen. There weren't many takers. I established eye contact and waved. He began walking toward me, and, as he did, I couldn't help but notice that he held his head down the entire way. It was that walk you do when you get called to the principal's office - full of shame and guilt and fear.

We shook hands and he began to tell me his story. He started by saying something like "I'm really embarassed to have to ask this..." Throughout the story he must have mentioned that word, "embarassed" like 10 times. He said he really was a Christian, but recently he's "backslid" which made him embarassed. He said he'd been giving in to old temptations. And that made him embarassed.

I have no idea if his story was true. For all I know he could have been going around to every church in the area using those same lines, looking for a quick fix.

Or maybe every word of it was true and he really was looking for a fresh start, and just needed a little help to get there. But what struck me was just how wrong it was for him to feel so "embarassed." And I believe that grieves God, too.

Don't get me wrong: I believe God gives us a conscience for a reason. There are things (many things, in my case) that we should feel embarassed for doing. But truly repenting and asking to receive God's grace isn't one of them. I believe one of the most devious (and effective) lies Satan tells us is that we're "not good enough" for God to forgive us/want to know us. God wants us to "come as we are." He just doesn't want us to stay that way.

Time and time again, the Bible tells of how God is faithful and loving and gracious to his children because they are his kids!! Of course they (we) screw up. Of course he gets frustrated - sometimes even down right pissed off - at them (us). But he never, ever, ever stops loving us. That's just not how God rolls!

Think about the parable of the prodigal son. Or Jesus with the woman at the well. Or when Jesus stops the angry mob from stoning the adulturess by saing "He who is without sin cast the first stone." Or the group of people Jesus chose to hang out with or make his disciples. There are many, many, many more examples throughout the Bible.

What I (tried to) tell my friend on the street is God's grace and mercy is a free (but not cheap) gift. The fact is, we are ALL God's children. And the fact is all of us, on our own, have fallen short. We have ALL sinned. And while our sins come in many shapes and sizes, sin is sin. My sins are no "better" or "smaller" than his. Just different.

And despite all that, God loves you and me. And that is nothing to be embarassed about.