Happy Turducken Day!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. It's all inclusive. Any and everyone can be thankful for something. It's not really a "religious" holiday, so there seems to be less hang ups for many people to celebrate it (See the upcoming PC need to say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas" over the next month). And any day built around family, football and food, is a-otay in my book. (And the fact that My 'Boys worked out some deal in the '60's so that they are ALWAYS one of the teams playing on Thanksgiving Day is an added bonus. America's Team, indeed!)



Yep. Thanksgiving is pretty much perfect. But here in America, you've got to admire the spirit of always wanting to take things up to the next level. How else could you explain the recent Thanksgiving phenomenon: The Turducken.

Don't get me wrong. I love turkey. And chicken. And duck. But the need to roll all three into one? I don't get that. I'm sure the original idea to do it was developed by the same marketing genius that pitched the "McDonald's Breakfast Burrito." Three perfectly good words that should NEVER EVER go together.

So since the Turducken is (hopefully) about at the end of its 15 minutes of fame, I thought I'd come up with some more "Thanksgiving Trios" that could fill the gluttonious void in years to come. Here's what I got:

The Hot Durger: What's more American that Hot Dogs and Burgers? Jamming them into one delicious meat explosion. (Alternate name ideas: "The Bypass Burger" or "Meatapalooza".)



The Seven Layer Chocolate Pancake: Take seven different types of chocolate (there are seven different types of chocolate, right?) Layer each one between a pancake (or "flapjack" if you're in the Gatlinburg area). Add some whipcream, cherries and a cup of syrup, and enjoy this mountain of awesomeness. Oh wait, they're already serving this thing at I-Hop.



The Fruit Loop Caesar Salad: Add the not nutrious but delicious sugary cereal to any boring old salad. It negates the health benefits and gains the approval of everyone's favorite Tucan.




Roast Beef Jerky:
For those on the go who want an entire Roast Beef rolled into one easy to carry stick of meat. The kids will love it!



Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
lance

Thought o' the Day

I love the new tagline Volkswagen is using these days: "Dare to be Happy." A much needed challenge for the cynical attitudes that are quite the norm today. Especially as we head into the Christmas season. Now, I'm not saying that buying the shiny new VW is the key to being happy (it wouldn't make me sad, either :) ). The world sure needs more of those that dare to be happy - even in the face of difficult situations and disappointments.

There was another billboard in the series that I love even more. It said:

Misery has enough company. Dare to be happy.

Love that! I looked all over the internets for an image of that billboard but couldn't find one. Regardless, I'm sure going to try to remember the spirit of that message throughout the always hectic holiday season.

That's My Boy!

Yeah, that's him. The one wearing his underwear on his head. Don't judge. It's the cool new look all the 3 year olds are rockin'. A Tupac-meets-Elmo kinda vibe. I'm thinking of adopting it into my wardrobe as soon as possible.

My boy crazy. (I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.) And speaking of my little apple, Luke turns 3 this weekend!! We'll celebrate by taking him to the Gatlinburg Aquarium where according to their website "underwater treasures await us." We're mainly going to see the sharks, which Luke is crazy about. Because anyone who would walk around with his underwear on his head definitely follows the motto to "live every week like it's shark week!" (Thank you Tracy Morgan!)

And, since I'm pretty confident Luke isn't reading my blog (along with millions of others) I'll share that for his birthday we are giving him his first big boy bike.

Luke will look killer on this hog! A shiny "Thomas the Train" number. With his Elmo Underwear Doo Rag, he's ready for the open road.

Because, as in the immortal words of Steppenwolf, he was born, born to be wild!

Happy Birthday L-Train!! Daddy Loves You!!

Sins We Love

I'm reading an outstanding book now, The Sins We Love, by Seattle pastor Randy Rowland. He is most renowned for being the public announcer for the Seattle Seahawks. He's also a tremendous writer that takes a very positive approach on addressing the most sensitive of subjects. The chapters are arranged according to the seven deadly sins (pride, envy, anger, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust). I've found his tone and compassion in explaining why we struggle with each of these, and more importantly, what antidotes are available for each one through faith, have been very rewarding and inspiring. I'll post more after I finish it. Hopefully there's no "surprise" ending...like in the greatest movie ever made about each of these sins, Seven.

Shake This Like A Poloroid Picture.

Just the Facts

I just finished reading Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell and Don Golden last night. Unlike Rob's other books, this one took me a little while to get into. But it really picked up steam after the first few chapters. The most eye opening part was a series of facts towards the end that truly convicted me of several things: How incredibly blessed I am/we are to live in America. And, more importantly, that this means we must share our blessings with those in need if we want to truly honor God.

There's no such thing as "a self made man" or having "pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps." You may have done a lot of the work, but God does ALL of the blessing. Just the mere fact that I was born in America, the most advanced civilization in the history of humanity, rather than some third-world village without running water is a HUGE blessing from God. Pure and simple. I did NOTHING to deserve such a gift...therefore if I horde it up and don't somehow share in what I've been given then I am living out of synch with what God desires. Unfortunately, that's how I've been living for far too long. Hopefully after reading these facts, which I'll share with you now, it will begin to open my eyes, and heart, a little more.

• One billion people in the world do not have access to clean water, while an average American uses four hundred to six hundred liters of water a day.

• Every seven seconds, somewhere in the world a child under age five dies of hunger, while Americans throw away 14 percent of the food we purchase.

• Nearly one billion people in the world live on less than one American dollar a day.

• Over two billion people in the world live on less than two American dollars a day.

• 1.6 billion people in the world have no electricity.

• Nearly one hundred million children are denied basic education.

• Most of the people in the world own a car. One-third of American families own three cars.

• Americans spend more annually on TRASH BAGS than nearly half of the world does on all goods.

Yet despite all of our wealth and blessings, are we a happier people? The next fact, which to me was one of the most telling, says no:

• The number of Americans taking antidepressants has tripled in the past decade.

Wow. Hard to hide behind those facts.

A Lesson in Forgiveness...

This past Saturday, rather than subject myself to the train wreck that UT Football has become, I decided to rake the leaves. (When I checked in on the score at halftime and realize UT was losing 13-0 to WYOMING, I was reassured that I had made the correct choice.) I'm also thankful I wasn't at the game, because I would have missed one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

As I was working on the yard, my 2 year old son was playing in a big pile of leaves. All of a sudden I heard this car screaming down our street at like 60 m.p.h. This isn't common because we live on a dead-end street, and the car was traveling the wrong way. My first instinct was to grab my son, and start yelling at the A-hole and tell them to slow down. But before I could do that, I hear my neighbor (a 60ish female) running down the street crying frantically. She's screaming that the person in the car had just robbed her! Seems my neighbor had been having a yard sale, and that the person in the car (a 27 year old female, I'm told) was there and asked if she could buy a pair of earrings or something. As my neighbor was making change for her, the lady said she "needed" her fanny pack of money, pushed my neighbor over a table and ran off with her cash.

I'm now standing in the middle of the street, holding my son, when I turn around to realize the robber has turned the car around and is heading back our way. Very quickly. As I stood in the middle of the road, I thought to myself: "Exactly what is your plan here?"

I guess if I was Matt Bourne or a member of the A Team, I would have hopped on to the front of the hood and hoped for the best. All while Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" played in the background.

But since I'm not (and I don't care for Bon Jovi) I opted to get out of the way, and then run after the car to get the license plate number. The cops were called, reports filed, and thankfully, my neighbor, while bruised, shaken up and out a couple hundred dollars, is ok.

And she taught me a great lesson. She called to give our family an update on things later that evening. At one point as she was talking, she said "I just pray that girl gets the help she needs..." I realized that at that moment, that she had put a very real, human face on Jesus' insistence that we "love our enemies." So often, Christians are portrayed as "soft" or "weak" because they are taught to "turn the other cheek." I think just the opposite is true. It takes great strength to hope, even pray, for someone who has wronged you so terribly.

Now my neighbor hopes the one who assaulted her is caught, and if she is, prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. As Christians, we understand that there are consequences to our actions. But at some deeper level, my neighbor went beyond the all too common "eye for an eye" mentality, and hoped that this person who assaulted her and stole from her, got the help she obviously needed.

I must admit that I hadn't been so charitable in my assesment of this person. I had deduced that she must be a Meth-head and had abandoned her 7 children...all out of wedlock. How I deduced this I'm not certain. What I am certain about is that I hadn't had much sympathy for her. I hadn't prayed for her forgiveness, or really thought about what must lead a person to rob a 60 year old at a yard sale of all places. But I should have. Thankfully, my neighbor reminded me about how this could work.

Tomato

The newest Nooma from Rob Bell, Tomato, is premiering online on Facebook for the next 48 hours. Enjoy!

Yes We Can!!!

Honoring Fulmer

I didn't realize this was going to be so hard to say goodbye. Watching Phil Fulmer's emotional, sometimes defiant, press conference yesterday was hard. Really hard. I gotta admit that I was getting choked up, along with him. There is no doubt that this man has given his life to UT. He has taken this program to the highest of highs. He successfully recruited Peyton Manning, Al Wilson, Eric Berry and tons of other NFLers. He's won 75% of his games, and done it with class.

He's not perfect (see second half of 2001 championship game vs. LSU or coddling of Kelley "The Future" Washington for specifics) but he has poured everything he has into the university I love. And while I was, and still am, among the many that think it's time for a change, it's still a bittersweet day.

I'm reading a book by legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wodden right now (One on One with John Wooden). Today I came across a paragraph in the book that sums up my feelings towards Coach Fulmer perfectly:

"The coach who is committed to the Christlike life will be helping youngsters under his supervision to develop wholesome disciplines of body, mind and spirit that will build character worthy of his Master's calling. He must set the proper example by work and by deed. It is not easy."

No, it's definitely not. Nothing about this situation, or what Coach Fulmer has accomplished, is easy.

Bittersweet Day on Rocky Top

Wow, I'm all for change, but this is getting crazy! First the news that long time coach of my Vols, Phil Fulmer, will officially step down at a press conference today at 5:00. Then news that Allen "Are We Talkin' About Practice" Iverson is joining my beloved Detroit Pistons! What an insane day! And while I definitely think it is time for a change at UT, I do respect and admire all that Fulmer has accomplished. Of all the comments floating out there about the move, Clay Travis' article on Deadspin hit it out the park. If you care about UT, please take a second to read the article. A wonderful tribute in every way.

My Two Year Old Explains What Jesus Is Really Doing Up In Heaven

This weekend, I had a fabulous time trick or treating, playing in leaves and hanging with my two kids. My favorite moment had to be at lunch on Saturday. We had just said our prayer, when my two year old son, Luke, asked "Daddy, where is Jesus?"

Before I could answer, my six year old daughter, Grace, jumped in with her explanation. That Jesus was in heaven, but he is also in our hearts...and that's why we've got to help people because that's what Jesus taught us to do.

So as my own heart was beaming with pride at Grace's profoundly beautiful answer, Luke just looks at us both for a moment and then replies...

Wait for it...

"No, Jesus is up in heaven eating carrots."

Which who knows...maybe he is. I searched throughout the Gospels and didn't find any passage that says he WASN'T up in heaven eating carrots, so maybe Luke is onto something. :)